So, here I am over a year out from gastric bypass surgery and I just realized I haven't blogged in as long. I think I got so wrapped up in all of it that I forgot this blog. I'm back! I have so much to tell all of you but I'm not sure where to start.
It's been a long long year. I've lost 183 pounds. Yep, you read that right. I'm at 135 as of now and I'm probably the healthiest I've been in my adult life.
This is me now! Look at that confident smile and thinned face. I'm beyond proud of myself. I eat only select foods that I know are low carb and healthy. I don't drink any soda or carbonated beverages. I don't smoke. I don't eat pizza unless it is Atkins cheese personal stone baked pizza (which I must say is quite delicious). And I have learned some amazing new recipes!
I have had an ulcer and a stricture and both are better. I have saggy breasts, a saggy stomach and loose skin, but I feel incredible and if I have clothes on, you'd never know.
I have an amazing husband who loves me more than life itself and has been there to support all of my meltdowns and help me with the vomiting and other things that have kicked my ass.
I have been told that I took "the easy way out" and I do take offense to that. I suffered a lot and I did what I needed to do. Easy? No sweets, no soda, no Casey's pizza, an ulcer, constipation that would drop a grown man to his knees with the pain, vomiting, the skin, the hair loss....I could go on, but I think you get the picture.
I will say that I do NOT regret my decision for even a second. I am blessed beyond words and I don't take a second of it for granted.
I have signed up for two 5K's in June of this year and am so very excited to challenge my new body. Should be interesting. I don't expect to finish first, but I WILL finish.
Love to you all!!
Cody
Yesterday turned into an absolute nightmare. I had decided upon waking that I would be pain medicine free for the day. I ended up not drinking my protein shake for breakfast because of the gas pains. I got emotional. I ended up calling my doctor about what I could do about the pain and he said to try Pepto. I hated having to call, but I just couldn't get it to go away.
Anyway, I decided to try eating again and mixed some Cappuccino protein powder in my French vanilla pudding (sounds delicious, right?) well, too much powder makes the pudding taste absolutely barfy and I turned to get a drink of water and dropped the bowl of pudding and the glass of water on the floor which created a splatter all over my sofa, the wall, the pillows, and my husbands electronics that are right there. I did my best to squat down and try to clean it up and burst into tears and just sat there feeling defeated and sobbing like a baby. This was a loud and violent sob complete with giant giant tears. Tim comes back downstairs and sees me sitting there with snot running and just devastated over this stupid bowl of pudding and finds that to top it off, I can't get back up off the floor without his help, which he gladly did.
Seriously? I think this journey, regardless of how prepared you are, is a hard one. I went through a year of therapy to prepare and I am still a mess.
Anyway, I finally gave in and took my pain medication which helped. Tim and I took a nap and when we woke up we went on an outing to Home Depot and Walmart. It felt great to be out in the world again and this morning I woke up with a new outlook and feeling pretty darn great. I cleaned the kitchen and Tim warned that I was going to over do it, but I assured him I would pace myself. Plus, I took my pain medicine. :) Won't try to be superwoman again and as soon as I type this, I'm taking a nap.
Oh, I discovered 98% fat free cheddar broccoli soup. DELISH! Strained it and am in heaven!
Hope you all have a fantastic day!
Hugs and Love,
Cody
Haven't updated since the morning before surgery because, well, I've felt like death. I was all hopped up on pain meds in the hospital and then went home on Wednesday and had a fever Thursday and slept something like 18 hours straight and then was still having a lot of pain on Friday. This surgery is no silliness. It's very intense and comes with some serious pain. I'm struggling with burp pain. My pouch feels like it's full of air, even when I haven't eaten anything which is not exactly painful, but more horribly uncomfortable.
My senses are heightened. I can smell things that I couldn't smell before. This, I'm sure, will end up being a bad thing because I already had a heightened sense of smell and now it's worse. My husband had four beers last night and I can smell the stale beer smell on his breath as I type and I'm sitting almost six feet away from him. This is no bueno.
I'm not sure if I've lost any weight because I don't have a scale with a battery in it. Isn't that ironic?! HAHA! It's kind of funny. I will work on that today. I would like to know but don't want to feel discouraged either. There is still swelling and I'm sure that will add to the weight.
I don't regret my decision yet, so that's something. I just feel like the recovery has been worse than I thought it would be. I think I should have taken into account that it is a major operation, I'm almost 42, and I somehow thought I was superwoman (turns out I'm not).
Anyway, I will keep updating as we go and hopefully I will end up with favorable results for all the pain.
Oh, and when you leave the hospital, make sure you're not high as a kite when you pack. I left my laptop cord and my cell phone charger both at the hospital. UGH.
Happy Holidays,
Cody
Today is the day. I should be sleeping because I worked all night, but I just can't seem to do it. I'm anxious. I want the clock to spin faster so that we can get there and I can get on with my journey.
My days of being a slave to food are done. Gone. Over. Finished.
I have my bag packed and am hoping for a great experience, of course, surgery is never fun, but it is for the greater good.
Thank you to everyone who has texted me or messaged me to wish me luck. I feel stronger because of you.
Hugs,
Cody
Today I feel that I must address the not smoking portion of the bariatric surgery topic. This is information you need regardless of the surgery option you choose.
I was a smoker. I smoked a little, like 4 or 5 cigarettes a day for many years. I enjoy a good glass of wine and when I would have that, I would easily increase the smoking to half a pack or more. So when I decided to have surgery I had to quit smoking. Easy? NO.
I had talked to my brother and my therapist and they both told me about the vaporizers. I finally broke down and bought one. So, here is what I have to say about the vaporizer and how it has helped me.
I went to a little store in Omaha, NE called Plumes off 120th and Dodge and purchased a starter kit for 29.99 which is the vaporizer unit with a charger and a case. I also bought a bottle of zero mg flavoring. I got the beetlejuice flavor which is a delightful fruity flavor. Anyway, it is basically sugar water that is thick like a nectar. Now, most people would buy this with nicotine, but you can get it nicotine free, which is what I did.
This contraption is a lifesaver. I haven't touched a cigarette since I got it. My husband has also managed to quit and is now a vaporizer "smoker". He got the flavor called mint thol. It is a minty menthol flavor with no nicotine. Amazing amazing amazing.
So you inhale the flavored sugar water and exhale a vapor that resembled smoke. It really does give you that hand to mouth satisfaction that smoking used to provide. I have absolutely no desire to smoke and love the way I feel.
If you have surgery and decide to smoke again, I want you to be forewarned that you WILL end up in the hospital. The smoking will cause lesions and ulcers and you will bleed. It isn't a pleasant thing and if you end up with a bleeding ulcer, you can end up having your surgery reversed, that is unless you have had the gastric sleeve and then you're just screwed. Sorry to be so blunt, but it is the reality.
So, get a vaporizer and quit smoking. It is your life and your future and did you really just go through an operation just to screw it all up? No, not likely.
Ok, I'm off my soapbox about smoking.
So, my surgery is on only 4 days and I'm more excited than ever. My friend Jackie brought me a big box filled with samples and containers to measure serving sizes. I'm so blessed to have friends that I can count on and that love me so much. Jackie, if you're reading this, I love you and I'm so glad you're in my life.
I am going to go for now, but I will blog more at another time.
Hugs,
Cody
Well, it is December in Nebraska, so that means snow. This leads me to think about the future. Surgery is in 8 short days. I will need to exercise after surgery. Walking seems to be a good form of low impact exercise and a good way to get started. BUT, in the snow? I'm not so sure about this when I consider that since I've stopped eating solids I am already freezing to death when bundled up INSIDE, so the thought of walking in 9 degree weather isn't really all that appealing.
I am lucky enough to work in a hospital with a large ER where I can walk laps, so the weather shouldn't be an issue and since I work 5 nights a week, that gives me plenty of time to get the heart pumping. So, how does one do this if they are not working and maybe can't afford a gym membership or don't have anywhere to walk? I worry about people that have these problems or that use them as a reason not to walk. I used to be one of those people. I could always find a reason not to go to the gym or not to walk the dogs. No more. I am now the person who finds the positive in things and finds a way to make it work.
For example, I worked my first night on the liquid diet last night. It went shockingly well. I didn't crave a single thing. I ate my cream of wheat with sugar free maple syrup, two sugar free pudding cups, and then right before I got off work, I drank my protein shake. I felt full and satisfied all night. The vending machine? Well, I watched coworkers go to the evil box of salt and disappointment, and I never felt like I needed to pay it a visit. Such a good feeling to be conquering the obsession with food.
As I type this, my husband is sitting beside me eating lasagna. He has been so sweet and hiding his plate or not wanting to eat foods that he knows I like. I told him that as long as he doesn't eat pizza, we will be just fine. HA! Anyway, I had my cream of chicken soup and I feel full and while his lasagna smells good, I don't want any of it. Success, she shall be mine.
I am off to take a nap since I work the overnights, but I will write more soon. If you're reading this you are either one of my very very dear friends or someone who has stumbled onto this blog. Either way, I am thankful that you read it. I am really finding this blog to be a place to vent and to talk stuff out that is part of this journey. I know a lot of you don't understand, but knowing that you care enough to read this means the world to me. I appreciate you.
Thank you and have a great day!!! Remember, you can do whatever you set your mind to!
Hugs,
Cody
I am on day 2 of this dreaded liquid diet. I actually have had a decent day. I had cream of wheat with sugar free maple syrup, which turned out to be quite delicious.
I had an Atkins chocolate protein shake, also delicious. I had a sugar free vanilla pudding cup... three for three on the delicious scale. I did have a cup of chicken broth that was sodium free and felt that was not as delightful as it could have been and I had a carnation breakfast shake that was sugar free and I felt I would have gotten more flavor out of a stack of paper. But all in all, not a bad day and not craving anything.
I will say that quitting food is like quitting smoking. I'm a raging lunatic. I nag and nag and I am crabby. I am sure it will get better, at least I hope it does because my husband is just about tired of me.
I spend more time in the bathroom than I did when I was able to eat real food. I am sure it is because there is just no substance when you're drinking your meals. I really dislike this part the most. Oh well, it is what it is.
I know that in the long run, things that I do today that I may not enjoy will be worth it and I won't have to do them anymore. Also, when you think of the prep for a colonoscopy, this is way better. I can tell you that from experience. HAHA!
Off to work for the night. I have my lunch box packed with all of my special runny goodies. The vending machine will be muted tonight. I will NOT let it call to me. I will be strong and brave. After all, only 7 days left after tonight, and I will be at the finish line. Surgery will be done and I will be happy to have the new beginning.
Hugs,
Cody
