Surgeon's visit is on Tuesday.  That is only 3 days away.  I'm gathering a list of questions I need to ask him so that I am informed.  I know what would happen if I didn't write them down...I would forget them at home. 

I have been watching a lot of videos on Youtube that are posted by other people who have had this operation and I have to say, they are mind blowing.  Women who are brave enough to show their skin.  All of the loose skin that is left after they have reached their goal weight.  It will definitely be an adjustment to have loose skin like that and resemble a sharpei, but when I look at the alternative of wearing the bigger clothing and feeling so uncomfortable in my skin now, I know it will be ok.  I just can't imagine myself with that flat stomach and the defined muscles and being in a size 7 pants.  Wow.  It is going to become a reality soon.  Crazy. 

I can't wait to be able to take Ashleigh (my foster dog) for a run.  I loved to run in high school and with all this weight I can't do it.  I can't wait to be able to do that again.  Ashleigh will love it and I will too. 

I bought a weight bench, an elliptical, and a mountain bike recently.  My husband set the stuff up in the basement for me so it is like we have our own gym.  I can't wait to get started really goin to town on it.  It is discouraging right now because I can only be on the elliptical for about 3 minutes before I want to die, but I push myself to go longer.  I know eventually I will be able to be on there for an hour, but that's a ways down the road. 

I am going to start stocking my cupboards this next week too.  I have to get protein shakes and broth and clear sugar free drinks and stuff all lined up so that I'm prepared.  I need to pack my hospital bag and make sure my house is ready and that we are stocked up on groceries and dog supplies.  Tim is going to be taking the week off when I have surgery so I will have someone here to care for me.  I am sure that it will be painful, but also an emotional hit too.  You go from being able to eat to being liquid only.  I am sure there will be a mourning process.  I will get through it.  I am prepared.  I have Nathan in my corner (my therapist) and I have Tim here and my family and friends.  Also, I have the dogs and everyone knows a puppy kiss fixes almost anything. 

Hopefully I will get a good surgery date on Tuesday and hopefully it will be for sooner rather than later because I'm antsy.  I'm ready to get the show on the road.  It's been a long journey so far, but it's been the right way to do it.  I don't recommend that anyone get this surgery without a lot of soul searching and a lot of research.  Not just research about the procedure, but about living life after.  Read other people's blogs, watch their videos, join a support group and talk to people.  It is a huge life change and it is one that happens in a matter of minutes and you are thrust into it.  It's not like going to the gym and working your way up to the one hour on the cross trainer.  It's going to the gym and jumping on for an hour and not being able to go back.  It isn't reversible.  I go to sleep able to eat a whole steak and I wake up able to drink an ounce of water.  Big change.  I'm glad I had the time to realize that and all of the other things I've learned along the way. 

I will post more later and will be sure to include a surgery date on Tuesday so check back.  I noticed a lot of hits on the blog counter, so you are reading it.  I appreciate it.  I need all the support I can get and to know that you care enough to read this means the world to me.  I love you all!

Cody